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.Depressed by his injury and prolongeda message that says it will never happen again. legal battles, Neal s personality goes blank.In 1954Later they all sit around, drink, and talk into a Neal and Carolyn jointly and powerfully embracetape recorder.This conversation might be included Edgar Cayce s philosophy.In sum, Cayce says thatin the transcripts from Kerouac s VISIONS OF CODY, self-condemnation or guilt only keeps one on thein which Carolyn makes a brief appearance.same path that led to these feelings.Cayce teachesNeal draws a two-week stay in San Luis substituting a positive attitude about life expectObispo.Carolyn and Kerouac are nervous about the best, not the worst.Cayce also believed in re-being left alone together, but Neal actually encour- incarnation as an evolutionary path, a conceptages their intimacy.This embarrasses both Carolyn that the Cassadys embraced as well.For Neal, hisand Kerouac, and Kerouac spends most of the two self-destructive acts revealed the guilt that he feltweeks staying with a friend.When Neal returns, he from his actions in previous lives.For Carolyn,casually says he is disappointed that Carolyn and Cayce taught her to let go of her anger over Neal sKerouac did not make love.Carolyn is furious and actions.In an odd synchronicity, Kerouac arrives indecides to seduce Kerouac.January 1954 ready to share his newfound spiritualKerouac is initially shy, and Carolyn calcu- enthusiasm, Buddhism.However, Kerouac cannotlatedly seduces him with wine and jazz.The rela- make Buddhism compatible with Cayce, and thetionship works: she finally feels included in Neal s magic circle of 1952 breaks down.and Kerouac s lives; even more, she feels central.In March 1954 the railroad settled with NealShe speculates that Neal likes the set-up because for a sum amounting to $16,000 after lawyer fees.he feels less tied down when a rival lover is with Ginsberg finally arrives, fresh from his adventuresher.Carolyn finds her self-confidence growing.in Mexico.Carolyn has not seen him for sevenBut Kerouac s ex-wife Joan Haverty pressures him years since the scene in her Denver apartment,for child support, and he decides to go to Mexico.and she is nervous, but he puts her at ease by beingCarolyn and Neal move to San Jose in August the perfect guest.She assumes that his passion for1952.Kerouac moves back in with them.Neal has Neal is over.She is wrong and walks in on them fortaken a job on the railroad and has to leave that the second time.This time, she is sorry to see Gins-first night, leaving Kerouac and Carolyn alone.He berg go.With the insurance settlement, they buy atells Carolyn sentiments that never occur between house in Los Gatos in August 1954.In retrospect,him and Carolyn in his novels.Kerouac seems to Carolyn realizes that there is no room for Kerouaclove the children, too.Eventually, Neal resents in this house, and indeed Kerouac never feels com-that Kerouac wishes to spend more time with his fortable in the house.Carolyn says that their firstwife and children than with him, and they have a year in the house was among her best with Neal.242 Off the Road: My Years with Cassady, Kerouac, and GinsbergUnfortunately, Neal s job gives him more and more Neal goes back to jail.He becomes desperate.Toopportunities for extended visits to San Francisco.obtain a separate trial, he needs to be released onHe falls in love with Natalie Jackson after falling bail, but bail is set exorbitantly high.To raise bail,in love with a portrait of her by Robert LaVigne Carolyn would have to take out a mortgage on the(just as Ginsberg had fallen in love with LaVigne s house.She refuses, in spite of Neal s pleas.Thisportrait of Peter Orlovsky before meeting him).decision, which results in Neal unnecessarily re-In spite of Carolyn s attempts to be tolerant, Neal ceiving a lengthy prison sentence, she regrets.Hemoves to San Francisco to share an apartment with is sentenced for five years to life and will actuallyGinsberg and Orlovsky.serve about two and a half years.Kerouac returns to San Francisco, and Neal Carolyn supports the family by doing make-upbrings him to Carolyn s for a visit.A scene devel- and costumes for a Wild West show and by work-ops on which Kerouac s play The Beat Generation ing for the drama club at the University of Santaand the film Pull My Daisy are based.Neal leaves Cruz.She admits to feeling an odd security whileKerouac alone with Carolyn that night, and they Neal is in prison because she always knows whereresume their intimacy.The next day, they all go to he is.Kerouac offers to help with money, but nonethe racetrack, and Neal explains his sure-fire bet- materializes.In prison Neal meets Gavin Arthur, ating scheme: Always bet the third-choice horse.friend of GARY SNYDER.Through Arthur, both Sny-Carolyn is soon to find out that Neal has been raid- der and Ginsberg give prison readings.Kerouac ising their savings account to finance his gambling invited to read but drinks too much the night be-habit.He has manipulated Natalie into posing as fore and is unable to keep the date.Carolyn and forging her signature on withdrawal Neal is released on June 3, 1960.Kerouac vis-slips.Neal hits bottom soon.Natalie commits sui- its in July 1960 in the company of LEW WELCH.cide while eluding a police officer who is trying to Neal breaks his parole on day trips to Big Sur withhelp her down from a fire escape.Kerouac, Welch, LAWRENCE FERLINGHETTI, andSoon after, Ginsberg and Kerouac become fa- PHILIP WHALEN
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