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Go do whatever it isyou need to do, bro.We got this, Ethansaid.I stood in the middle of thesidewalk and watched them walk away,wondering where I could possibly go toget Michael s attention.Immediately, Iturned on my heels and started for thesubway, because I needed to get tolower Manhattan.Twenty minutes later, I stood infront St.Paul s Chapel in lowerManhattan.Built back in 1764, it is theoldest church on the island, but that s notthe reason I went there.St.Paul's Chapel sits directlyacross the street from where the WorldTrade Center used to be.On that horridSeptember day back in 2001, the littlechurch remained undamaged, despite thedestruction and sheer terror thatoccurred just behind it.It stood tall anddefiant on that day, with its spirestanding out in the dust, smoke anddebris.The epitome of hope in themiddle of hell.In all of Shane Maxton smemories on this earth that I held, of allthe places he d ever visited, I had neverbeen anywhere more moving thanstanding in front of that church.Sorrowand grief was still evident in that place,and more than once, I had to wipe awaysilent tears that fell down my cheek.Michael stood in the smallgraveyard, overlooking the cold stonesthat spiked out of the hard earth beneathhis feet.He glanced at me once, butdidn t smile.He held his breath for afew moments, and then puffed out aheavy sigh. This place is where youthought I would be?I shrugged and walked closer tohim, standing shoulder to shoulder. Maybe it s because I m fully human& I waved my arms around us. Tell meyou can t feel the hope in this place, thehumanity, Michael.I need you to seewhy I need to be with her, and why I mchoosing this.Michael stood still inexpectation.He swallowed quicklysqueezing his eyes closed, and loweringhimself to his knees on the ground.I stood over him, No matterhow much hate was brought here, hopewas born.That s what humans do.Forall that s horrible and wrong here,Michael, they will always bring withthem hope.It fills me with awe, thisfeeling.That s what Grace holds, allthis time.All this time, Michael, hope iswhat kept her going.Hope is what Ihave, that when I tell her I m no longeran angel, she ll settle for an ex-junkiewith a heart full of scars, who has lovedher since the beginning of time.I mtelling her who I was.I can t bepunished for the truth.God is nothateful.I walked away slowly, leavingMichael leaning forward on his knees inthe middle of a graveyard, whilehundreds of New Yorkers busily wentabout their day around us. No nothateful, Shane.Just gone, he calledafter me.Chuckling, I turned around tolook at the angel.Holding my hands outaround me, I spun in a slow circle, No,Michael, think more like a human.He severywhere.You just don t have faithin him anymore.Michael s posture suddenlystiffened, his muscles rigid and taunt,mouth falling open in an audible gasp. That s right, Mikey, I just wentthere. Shoving my hands in my pocketsand bouncing on my toes, I smiled athim, And now, I m going to go buy thebiggest freaking diamond I can find inManhattan, so everybody can see howmuch I love the girl who only wanted mefor thousands of years.That s exactly what I did.Another subway ride to 57th Street and5th Avenue; Tiffany s.It only took me fifteen minutes tofind the perfect ring to slide onto thehand of the only girl I d ever loved.Forthose of you that get off on that crap, itw a s beyond fucking beautiful.Aperfect brilliant center antique cushioncut 2.5-carat diamond wrapped in adelicate platinum design of smallerdiamonds that sparkled like Grace seyes.And yeah, I walked right out of thedamn store with it, tucked deep in thepocket of my jacket.Now all I had to dowas think of a way to ask her that wouldhold a special meaning to her.Write itin roses? A hot air balloon ride? Skywriters? Crap, I never thought I wouldhave to think about this.This was goingto be the hard part.Chapter 35The first show that Mad Worldwas going to perform with Grace andAlex together, and with me out of theslammer, was at seven o clock thatnight.I was at Boozer s by six, relaxingwith a beer in my hand, ring in mypocket, and my heart crashing against mychest.At ten minutes to seven, Gracewalked through the front doors, flankedon both sides by Conner and Lea, whoboth wore worried expressions.AndGrace? Grace was unnaturally pale,clutching her arms around herself tightly;body tense and rigid.What the hell wasgoing on with her? I combed my fingersthrough my hair, my scalp prickling withan uneasy chill.When her eyes metmine, an unshakeable sense of terrorpoured over me and I ran right to her.Grabbing at her shoulders roughly, Ilowered my eyes to hers frantically, Grace, what s wrong? Whathappened?Her bottom lip quivered and hereyes pleaded with mine. After theshow, I m going to have to leave for awhile, Shane. She opened her mouth tosay more but the words didn t come.What? No.No fucking way. Is this about Gabriel? Didsomething happen? Or is this about me,Grace? I squeezed her shoulders,while searching her face for answers.She gave me none.Then Ethan was behind her,lightly drumming his sticks on hershoulders, and my freaking hands.Hiseyebrows pulled together when he sawthe terrified expression that lay acrossher face, Hey, you okay? We have fiveminutes to get to the stage, why you solate?Alex and Brayden jumped next tous then and excitedly pulled us to thestage.They hadn t noticed Grace sunease or my worry.She gave me a fakesmile before climbing up onto the stage, I m fine, I just need a drink, sheblatantly lied.Ethan shoved two drinks at us,and she grabbed for hers as she yankedoff her jacket
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