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. You don t get to just walk away. Hecrashed their lips together, fear adding urgency to the kiss, to themovement of his hands over Alexei s chest, pulling at clothes, partingfabric as he searched for the sensitive skin beneath.His words hadfailed, but he still had hope that the union of their bodies would bepowerful enough to persuade Alexei not to give up on them yet.Alexei groaned at the sudden assault, the spark of arousal thatalways burned in Patrick s presence flaring to life at his lover s urgenttouch.Alexei returned the kiss as fiercely as it was given, sucking onPatrick s tongue as it thrust in his mouth, tugging away whateverclothing his hands could reach, afire for the feel of bare skin pressedtogether.He fell back on the couch, carrying Patrick with him, theyounger man still straddling his hips as their cocks ground togetherthrough layers of silk and denim.Patrick managed to strip away Alexei s shirt and coat, leavinghim bare to the waist.He released his lover s mouth, attacking the tightnipples instead, sucking hard on the pebbled points, reveling in the waythe other man arched beneath him.He needed this contact, needed toknow he could leave Alexei as mindless as his lover had always lefthim.Rising up enough to reach between them, he fought with Alexei strousers, wanting nothing between their bodies.Too much separatedtheir hearts and the rest of their lives.He couldn t stand for anything toseparate their flesh.Lifting his hips, Alexei worked his lover s belt open as Patrickslid his trousers as far down his legs as he could reach.As soon as hisbare backside hit the couch, he arched upward, inviting Patrick shungry mouth to feast on his chest.Alexei s fingers slid down the zipof his lover s jeans and burrowed inside, closing around the hard lengthof his shaft as he thrust the stiff fabric out of his way, mating skinagainst skin.Patrick worked his way lower, learning Alexei s body with hislips.He d never really had the chance before, and he didn t know if theopportunity would come around again.He intended to make the mostof it.His tongue traced the outline of the various tattoos, those whosemeanings he knew and those he didn t.Regardless, they were part ofhis lover s past, part of the sacrifices he d made to reach the pointwhere he was now.His lips coasted over the tight stomach, pausing tocircle his lover s navel, his hands sliding over Alexei s hips to cup hisbuttocks, tilting him to a better angle as he closed his mouth around thetip of the leaking cock.The taste exploded on his tongue, making himmoan with the decadent pleasure of it.It wasn t the first time they ddone this, but last time Alexei had been doing his best to distract him.This time, Patrick refused to be distracted.He would give Alexei thebest blow job he d ever gotten, and when the older man was relaxedand sated, he d show his lover what else he was good at.Biting back another groan, Alexei let his head drop back on thecushion as Patrick s lips surrounded him.Panting roughly, he twinedhis fingers through his lover s longish hair, fighting the urge to thrustupward with dissolute abandon.As the hot, wet suction drew himcloser toward losing control, he tried to pull back, wanting to buryhimself deep inside his Patya and carry him along on the waves ofpleasure as they spent themselves.Patrick felt Alexei try to pull away and tightened his grip, fingerssinking into heavy muscle as he drew harder on the thick shaft fillinghis mouth.In an effort to assure his lover they weren t done yet, he slidone finger into the shadowy crease of Alexei s ass, brushing across thetight hole.Alexei tensed at the unexpected touch, the memories of Piotr sviolation, and his own, still vivid.Ignoring or misreading his flinch,Patrick continued to probe and Alexei froze with instinctive revulsion. Nyet! he rasped, pulling Patrick s head from his cock and thrustinghim away roughly.Shocked at his own reaction, he ran a hand throughhis hair, noticing with almost detached interest that it was trembling.Taking a deep breath, he held it for a moment, struggling forcomposure before exhaling harshly. Patya, he murmured, reachingfor his startled lover in apology. Prosti.From his place on the floor, Patrick stared at the hand Alexeioffered with the same horrified fascination one might feel upondiscovering a viper in one s bed.He stayed where he was for amoment, understanding dawning slowly.He d been naïve enough tothink Alexei s strength had been enough to protect him.Obviously,he d been wrong. Piotr wasn t the only one they hurt, was he? heasked, unable to keep the sympathy he felt from his voice. Piotr was one who died, Alexei countered coldly, closinghimself off from the pity in the younger man s words. I survived.Wassurprise only, he added dismissively.Survived was the right word, Patrick thought bleakly, wonderingif he would ever be able to touch Alexei again without worrying abouttriggering another memory.His lover had certainly not learned how tolive again.He took Alexei s hand and let himself be drawn back ontothe couch, but he didn t reach for the other man, didn t try in any wayto renew their embrace.He didn t dare
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