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.And the house itself (atrailer), a little worse for wear but very livable, sits in a large grove of pinetrees, some the same trees she climbed with her brother.It is quite idyllic,fairly high and dry for that part of the country. It s peaceful [this she dragsout, speaking very slowly].Peaceful [again speaking very slowly].Like outhere, it s so peaceful.So, this land where her trailer now sits is a place full of memories.Shegrew up playing on it, and it has been in her family for three generationswith every likelihood of a fourth to follow, at least for some of the children.Her grandfather was the original owner, at least in her family.And, again, itis precisely this relationship to the land that helps to foster a sense of stew-ardship for it.It isn t simply one s own.It is something with a history, hav-ing belonged to their family, something they hope to pass on to the nextgeneration.It is home in the most rooted sense.As Walter Stegner hasstated: A place is not a place until people have been born into it, have grownup in it, lived in it, known it, and died in it have both experienced and164 Rooted in Placeshaped it, as individuals, families, neighborhoods, and communities, overmore than one generation. 11Coming and Going and.For Rhonda s sister Grace (the middle sister), Colonial County alsohas a powerful pull, but in this regard, as with much in her life, she is, asshe would say, the little radical. She is more critical of all things, and thisis no exception.She relativizes her relationship to the place, even while ac-knowledging the good things about it.And, with a response more akin towhat many sociologists say arises from social institutions, she feels trappedby many existing social relationships, including her family and this place.her Uncle Terrence felt that he would be denied his real self in the city;Grace feels similarly about Colonial County.Yet, although she had left forbrief periods, she had always returned.It was over twenty years since herlast extended trip away from the county.As she tells me, I will leave again.I m thinking of moving to Boston.I ve got this somethin in me that makes me want to live someplace else forawhile.My youngest and me are thinkin of lookin around this summer.Ifnot there, then maybe somewhere else.I don t care where I go. But, I tell her, you are still here.Your family is here and, well, it justseems to me like it s awfully comfortable for you.Would you really leave?For the rest of your family, there seems to be a powerful pull to this place.Grace responds, That s why I come back.But for now, I feel the needto go places and do things.And I have the feeling that I ll never be the per-son I want to be as long as I stay here.I get the same feeling like I did inmy marriage suffocated.Like his world was too small and he couldn tcome into my world, couldn t deal with it, and I felt like I was suffocating.Igot up one day and said, Today is the day. And he said, What day? And Isaid, The day I leave. Clearly, for Grace there is a sense that no matter how comforting it is tobe surrounded by family, so much love and assurance has a price.What bythe others is seen as an asset is seen by her as also a liability.The cost forstaying is denial of what she might become.She has shown herself on nu-merous occasions to be like a butterfly encased in a cocoon, waiting toemerge as something new, something perhaps even beautiful.No matterwhat she does locally, she is trapped; the gauge of her success then remainsHome Is Where the Heart Is 165a local one, limited by what is available.For her, home gives a sense warmand fuzzy but also chilly and clear creating for her a mental picture of be-ing capable of more, but not in this place.Like everyone else in her family, Grace has no question about the rolethat family plays.Whether in helping to organize a big birthday party forher father, or in keeping an eye on her sister s children, or for whateverelse, family is crucial.And nothing is more crucial than the family she hascreated.Her children are instruments capable of playing the tunes Gracewants to hear whether the tune comes from Sheila, her teenage daugh-ter, telling me how few children they should have, or comes from one ofthe children stressing the need to stand on one s own two feet and be suc-cessful.Yet for Grace there is a profound sense of being limited as long asshe lives locally, and she fears that this may also hold for some of herchildren s friends.She is torn by serving as a role model, on the one hand,someone who has truly succeeded against all odds, and wanting to leave,on the other hand, and so encourage others to do so as though such amove will enhance the chances of greater lifetime success and, one maysuppose, happiness.Her brother Samuel is the youngest sibling, and one of the most com-mitted to living locally.Although he has grown frustrated with much aboutColonial County, he has (like virtually everyone in his family except Grace)no desire to live elsewhere.His is a been there and done that attitude.He readily admits to the flaws of local living, but also realizes that all placesare flawed.He believes that nearly every place is, at root, the same. You talk to a lot of people, not just blacks but whites, too, we spend allof our lives here.We don t have any idea of what s out there for us.Somefamilies have the opportunity to send their kids away and see that there smore than Colonial County.I disagree, though
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