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.Closing myeyes didn t help calm me.The medicine cabinet above my headopened and closed, and in the next minute, cool cream soothedover the burns.Leandro worked without speaking, a fact for which I wasgrateful.I couldn t answer his accusations, no matter how much Iwanted to.I could only give myself over to his ministrations andallow him to ease the worst of my discomfort.As his gentle fingers reached the edges of the burns at the sideof my neck, he murmured, There was something else you didbetween showering and going outside.I sighed.I really didn t want to argue about this. Enlightenme. You got dressed.He was right.The simple step had eluded me, an automaticthing everyone did and forgot about, a detail I would have graspedwithout even trying before taking this assignment.Worse, therewas merit in this realization, and Leandro knew it.Because nowthat I thought about it, the burns rested where my collar wouldhave touched my skin, the same collar that had itched and annoyedme, but I had stubbornly ignored and blamed on my distemper.The shirt was divine.Just as Lemuel was divine.And I d feltthat flash of heat when I d touched him, as well.Perhaps not thefirst time, but definitely the second, when he d been in the middleof disappearing on me, when my heightened emotions had refusedto be ignored any longer and I d acted in desperation.For whatever reason, my flesh was reacting like it was mortal.When I lifted my head, I saw in the reflection of Leandro seyes that he d already figured that out.I d warned him about theshirt, after all.And then my body had been the one to offer the97CAPRICORN: FORGOTTEN FACESproof of it.He reached again over my head and removed some gauze padsand tape from the cabinet.Maintaining that same tender touch, hecovered the affected skin, protecting it from any more harm.Whenhe was done, he bent and pressed a kiss to the back of my neck,above the edge of the bandage. I m going to put some coffee on, he said. I think we re bothgoing to need it.I nodded and let him go.I had yet to release my death grip onthe sink.Part of me was afraid that if I did, I d fall.It just might bethe only thing holding me together right now.That, and Leandro.My thoughts raced back to when I d touched Lemuel.He dasked if I was all right.No declamations about what the hell hadjust happened, or questions about what I might have done to him,since presumably, I was the stronger of the two of us.Just& care.Why is it always about what I ve done? Or what he s done?That s what he d said.The question he d left out was obvious.Why isn t it about what you ve done?But I had no answer to that question, either.My existence hadbeen ordered, almost mundane.I conducted my work to the best ofmy ability, doing everything I could to please both mortal bossesand the Higher Powers.Any terrestrial laws I broke were inaccordance to my duties, and I did everything possible to escapepunishment from the Higher Powers.Was this a different form of punishment, then? But for what?And why couldn t they just come out and tell me? What was thesong and dance for? Most importantly, why bring Leandro backinto it, when it would only cause him further pain when weseparated?98CAPRICORN: FORGOTTEN FACESBecause if I couldn t resolve this, he was dead.Gone.Heclaimed to be okay with that, that it was preferable to livingwithout me, but he couldn t fathom the magnitude of what thatmeant.And I couldn t bear the thought of being responsible for it.Imight not remember the depth of my feelings from before, but Icould see their return looming on the horizon.It would take verylittle to fall head over heels for him, even if I had no recollection ofever experiencing love before.I knew what it was.I d seen it incountless people over the centuries.I d felt it in Leandro smemories when I d stepped into them.I splashed cool water over my face, sighing with pleasure at thebase relief it offered.The smell of rich coffee drifted in through thepartially open door, and I gazed out to watch Leandro move in andout of view, working in the kitchen in some sick parody ofnormalcy.Was it worth it to him? Had time weighed him down socompletely that he was willing to take these last couple days ofintoxication to suffer for eternity? It must be.I couldn t imaginehim doing anything he didn t want to.He might have been boundinto silence, but he hadn t been coerced.A weariness undercoatedhis resolve.His continued fight for my attention offered additionalevidence.I almost wished I could do what he wished and forget theoutside world to enjoy what he had to offer.But I d done enough forgetting to last me a lifetime.When I came out, he had coffee already poured.He held mineout, and our fingers brushed when I took it.A tingle ran up theback of my hand, and in spite of my frustration, I relaxed a little.Leandro gave me a wan smile. It s better than when you weresick, he said. At least, I can treat cuts and burns.More memories that should have been impossible.Ones I d99CAPRICORN: FORGOTTEN FACESforgotten to pursue answers for until now. Can you tell me about it?He led the way to the couch, where we sat next to each other,our thighs touching. I don t know what there is to tell.You caughtsomething, and were in bed for days
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